You know when your body tells you something and you can’t read it? Like, when you’re craving coffee does this mean ‘more’ or does this mean ‘rest’? It’s like walking along with your earphones in and snapping your neck at the sound of a siren, forgetting for a moment that it’s part of the song. Like, when you roll out of bed with him and you wonder: is this lust or love? Do I hate the professor or do I hate the challenge? And then you decide that this is it, this is the reason. “I’m just on my period” and the room is silenced. She taps you on the shoulder and cocks her head. “Hey, why aren’t you outside with the rest of us?” She hands you a beer. “I don’t know, I just want to be alone for a bit”. And it’s the perfect answer for the chronically inadequate. It’s like going vegan because you believe the body should be meatless. Do you know what it’s like to eat plenty but still feel empty?
Can we be still for a moment?
I want to know what you thirst for.
“I know now how little my strength and small virtue can achieve if You are not always granting me Your grace and helping me not to forsake You…”
“May You be blessed for ever since, although I have forsaken You, You have never so utterly forsaken me as not to raise me up again by continually giving me Your hand. “
“The LORD makes firm the steps of the one who delights in him; though he may stumble, he will not fall, for the LORD upholds him with his hand”.
– Psalm 37:23-24
“How true it is that You suffer those who will not suffer You to be with them! What a good friend you are, Oh my Lord, to comfort and endure them, and wait for them to rise to Your condition, and yet in the meantime to be patient of the state they are in! You take into account, O Lord, the times they loved You, and for one moment of penitence forget all their offenses against You… I cannot see, O my Creator, why the whole world does not strive to draw near to You in this bond of friendship.”
I come undone easy
like a sail untied.
Speak truth to me
and reorder my heart.
“You will keep in perfect peace
those whose minds are steadfast,
because they trust in you.”
– Isaiah 26:3
“Lead me in your truth and teach me,
for you are the God of my salvation;
for you I wait all the day long.”
– Psalm 25:5