A fear of mine

I had to scrap this post. I don’t know why I even care. If I post something I later deem unsatisfactory, I will put it away and try again. The problem is, it’s hard for me to decide when things are good enough. I will not toss words together and leave it at that, or repeat the base-line for a song when I haven’t got a clue what to do next. I have to make sure that the song progresses, that the thought is well-rounded and executed. Oftentimes I will ‘draft’ these, save the songs or film projects for a later time- when my head is clear-, but after each alteration, the due date is postponed. I am trying my hardest to just write, because my older posts have a refreshing quality to them that I seem to have lost. Maybe that’s the price paid for practice?

Anyway, here is my fear: I cannot bear to be uninteresting. As egotistical as that sounds, I am a human person (Biomedical Ethics has me saying things like ‘human person’) in college, surrounded by brilliant minds competing for the attention of a few professors. Get recommendations, get opportunities. Not only that, I am inspired by people all the time. Questions in lecture, unabashed students in discussion. These people have a lot to offer. These people will make changes in the world, for they have already stirred something within me. I admire people who are engaged, passionate, and curious. I say this all the time. If I seek these qualities in people, shouldn’t I strive to possess them too? I realize that you can not acquire knowledge and formulate intelligent, insightful thoughts without engaging. Every person can contribute something- it’s just a matter of whether or not they are attuned to their surroundings/ themselves. Passionate people observe, question, and piece things together, building upon a personal understanding they have of their own lives. What they take in, they absorb and then spit out, leaving a unique, self-saturated idea. There is hope for me!


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