They’re always said casually, with a hint of disdain or displeasure. “Oh I never saw you as the type”, or “since when did you start ____?” or “didn’t know it was your thing”. It’s hardest to make changes or make progressions when you’ve known someone long enough for them to grasp your character. Even when they’re the most trivial things, it’s uncomfortable, because they think they know you through and through, with no room to spare for any surprises. It reminds me of this scene from New York Minute when one of the Olsen twins turns to the other and is astonished at the fact that she is fluent in Chinese.
But I will not be somebody else’s idea of a person. I won’t be restricted to make someone else feel better about the way they perceive me. Nobody can argue with me about what I like, what I want to do and what I think about. And I don’t need to justify myself either.
To a question like “surfing? I didn’t think you were sporty”.
I’m going to answer “what, I’m broadening my horizons”. Let me grow! And then modify your view of me accordingly.
I am guilty of this -I don’t know- categorical thinking? One of my friends did something out of character, something we’d never had expected her to do. Maybe what makes it a bigger deal is the fact that I don’t agree with her actions- it seems like a turn for the worse. But I’m going to have to accept the change because she doesn’t seem to have a problem with it. Would her old-self approve? Not my place to say.
Mostly though, I’ve been affected by words of strangers. There was this man who looked like he was in his 30s, who questioned my friend and I for being at a club. People have this mistaken view of Christians, like they are bible-thumping prudes who can’t have fun. Stereotypical high school movies and shows like Awkward (even though I like the show) don’t shed a good light on Christianity- they make a parody of religion, as if believers are weird, cult members who have skewed ideas about ways to behave. They’re portrayed as air-headed, over-emotional and on the extreme end of boring. I suppose some people live up to the stereotype, but there are actually Christians who don’t condemn every non-believer and consign them to hell, hate homosexuals and sit at home all day too scared to have fun. Fun is not off limits! But I suppose it depends your definition of fun. Because believe it or not, getting drunk isn’t the only way to have fun, and neither is going home with a guy. Our main objective is to DANCE with our friends, chill out and have a few drinks. I get that the party-image may put some people off, and ignorant people may infer that going out = slut, but as long as I’m not breaking my own moral codes and am being sensible with the way I conduct myself, I’m happy. This concerns me only.
If the 30 year old man I had never spoken to in my life wanted to accuse us of being teases and shoot down our view on each and every male in the room, then I should’ve just left him blabbering. Sure, go ahead, think what you want. I shouldn’t have been as offended as I was, or as guilty as he made me feel. I will not be somebody else’s idea of a person just because he/she is too close-minded. Who cares! I don’t need to explain my life story to someone with such antiquated thinking.
I’m sure as hell not changing for you so why don’t you change your mind about me. No? We’ll agree to disagree.