I was wearing a white dress the night we met.
I wore a black and white striped lace shirt on our first date.
I wore a floral sweater on our second date.
And I wore a grey shirt the last time we met.

The white dress was paired with nude heels. You accompanied me as I ordered a glass of water at the bar. When I tripped in my heels, you warned me “might want to take it slow with that water. Had a drop too many hey!” And when I hobbled around in the early hours of the morning, you imitated me with bent legs and arms locked in an awkward position. “Like a cripple”, you joked. You said something like: “If you had come up to me like this, I would’ve just been like “yep, sorry, think I’m gonna leave now'”. And I wanted to be your friend.

Your thumb rested on my side as we rode up the escalator and I didn’t dare make known that I was hyper-aware of the fact that it was there. I saw it in my mind’s eye, on my lacy shirt. And again, when we rode the elevator up on a quest to the find the roof of the mall, I saw us in the silvery reflection. Turns out there was no roof but we took our time trespassing. We kicked our white-plimsolled legs under the table as I drank my Oreo smoothie and you, your disgusting blueberry tea. Out of all the possible selections, including a peanut butter Oreo milkshake drizzled in chocolate, you chose blueberry tea… Should’ve known it wasn’t going to work out between us.

You showed me the mirror you woke up to. It was on the floor and propped up against the wall. You joked about your routine of flexing into the mirror with “epic music” playing in the background. You put on ‘Time’ by Hans Zimmer from Inception and showed me what you meant. When I lay on your chest, with the laptop balanced on my knees playing the first episode of Game of Thrones, your arms folded around me, hands clasped between my ribs. I don’t know if you were paying attention to what was on the screen or to the rise and fall of the flowery fabric.

You asked me what I’d wish for if I only had one wish. You’d already thought this one through. You’d like the ability to travel backwards and forwards in time to different stages of your life, at any given moment. I was stuck. We then sat down in Starbucks and I had lemon tea whilst we gossiped. I saw myself in the reflection behind your head, smiling in my grey shirt. You were giving me that look- the one that makes people feel special.

Today when I looked through my closet, I remembered you. I don’t usually remember what I wear to events, much less what other people wear, unless there are copious pictures I can look through. But hey, good times. Unexpectedly vivid memories. Banter with you was the best banter to date.

To remember.


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