How great is your love if it’s not unconditional? There is no such thing. At least, no such thing as romantic love that’s unconditional. There are always limits, always requirements. That’s why people fall out of love- because you love the way someone is and allow for only so much change. You’ll only love them if they stay as close as they can to the way they were when you first fell in love with them. Well, fundamentally at least. If you can still see the person that they were, you can still love them. But if they choose change how can you love them the same way?
You love the way he speaks, with a lilt in his voice. He’s got favourite authors that he likes to recite and embed into your conversations. He’s got a temper but you’ve fallen in love with the petty arguments because you have memorized the way his forehead crinkles and you’ve fallen in love with the security of his hands clasped around yours, accompanied by a mumbled apology. You admire his drive and you’ve fallen for his big heart, the way he can’t help but analyze problems that aren’t his and solve the Rubik’s cube in minutes. He’s captured you and you’ve found a way to tolerate his less lovable habits, like how he whistles when he sleeps. And then things change and he’s not that same person anymore. It’s not a simple matter of oh, he’s busy and can no longer share with me his thoughts. It’s like he’s adopted some alien thoughts, changed the way he sees the world. He makes all these unbearably cynical remarks now and has made a habit of complaining. He didn’t use to be like this. He’s lost an energy about him and he no longer likes to go out because “our home is more important”. There’s no problem with that, he’s right in his own way, but it’s just not what you want. Little things change and accumulate and he shifts into something else. Someone else. You care for him deeply but you no longer love him with the same passion you did. He’s no longer what you want.
Or maybe he stays more or less the same and you are the one who changes. You believe in some new-found concepts, experience some big event that forces you to mature. You’re bound to circumstance. Your love is conditioned to specifics. I mean, that’s how you fall in love in the first place, right? We don’t fall in love with just anyone.
Just a thought.