I know I know I know I haven’t been blogging. In my defence, I’ve been coughing and busy wearing away my trachea. I also have an inexplicable back ache which makes sitting uncomfortable- curling up in a fetal position on my bed is the best choice. It makes me think that I’m getting a sneak peek of what old age feels like, after my muscles have retired, deciding finally to attack me with their remaining strength out of contempt for slaving away for years.
I’ve also been sleeping a lot. I don’t know if it’s the pills I’ve been poppin’ or if I’m just drowsy all the time and physically weak (using the pills as an excuse to sleep). It makes me think about being more health conscious. I set myself up on a crusade to do more exercise, eat healthy and de-stress. Mind, body, spirit, the whole deal. But obviously, it’s not happening or working the wayI had hoped. There are moments when I seriously understand the implications of not taking care of myself properly and I am determined to do something about it. Everybody’s complained about being un-fit, huffing up the stairs, possibly refusing a cookie in fear of becoming fat. Everybody wants to look their best and feel confident in themselves physically. But looking good with abs and toned legs are only superficial benefits of eating well. I’ve heard all the gabble before and I’ve simply shrugged my shoulders. I know yadayadayada but my brother hit home when he talked about eating for his body and brain. He said he felt sluggish and slow after eating heavily fried, carb-loaded, sugary foods. We were grocery shopping when he frowned at the packaged chips and processed food in boxes and cans and said there was nothing healthy to buy. He said that he feels bad whenever he eats junk food, and I asked him “why, do you feel guilty?” He replied with “no, it’s just that once you start to eat right you never want to go back.” Basically, he talked about how certain foods left him feeling like shit. He described feeling heavy and lethargic. Sleepy. And that’s how I feel a lot of the time- not that I feed myself fries every day. It just made me realize how much of an impact food can have on how you feel. How much brighter and sharper would I feel if I ate brain food? Clean food. Fresh food. How much more positive and productive would I be if I took the time to respect my body? Also, I’m still developing and my brain structures are still forming and maturing- now is the time to look after myself. I’ll thank myself later.
I think fundamentally, I struggle with long term goals and future orientation. I like to see results now and I am encouraged by rewards that I don’t have to wait for. This is something I definitely have to work on. Most things worth having/ achieving require effort and sacrifice. To be able to delay present rewards and instant gratification will serve me well in the long run. I must keep this in mind.
I admire people who are able to persevere and work really hard for an extended period of time. They reap what they sow and it’s all worth it. Work too hard and you miss out on life. Don’t work at all and the same applies. Balance is key but so hard to achieve.