Wouldn’t change a thing

Everything was just easy with you. No pretence, no need to impress. I could roll out of bed and I’d let you stare at me full in the face, for example, and that to me would indicate the platonic nature of our friendship. How much of what we were essentially a friendship? Was it all fuelled by the feelings you had for me? I could blame myself for acting a certain way but doing so would be foolish. Juvenile even. I’m mature enough to know that what matters is that I behaved in a way that was natural to me- untainted, uninhibited and out of love (the friendly, familial kind). It’s not my fault. I never wanted your feelings. But if my girl friends were guys, I’d probably be in love with them… So maybe it’s impossible for a guy and a girl to be as close as we were without something going wrong. If we both kept a little more distance perhaps things would’ve been different. But then again, I’d have missed out on so many great things and beautiful memories. You were the guy I called when I didn’t have my girl besties, and I remember saying and realizing in that one moment: I wouldn’t have known what to do without you.


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