Sorry, you crossed the line

I always have weird conversations with people and I usually enjoy them immensely. My friends are weird and I love that they’re not ashamed of it. Weird is different, fun, interesting, original and even brave as opposed to the predictability and monotony of being like everybody else. Being weird means deviating from the norm, of which depends on the sameness of people, and obviously, since we’re not all the same in every single way, we’re all at least a little odd. But when typed online, without the correct delivery or an expression to match, messages get lost in translation- that is, things can get awkward.

Say, I’m on facebook and I’m not so familiar with this person. We chat back and forth and the person stops replying. At first, I attribute it to the fact that he/she is busy. Perhaps he’s in the bathroom. Maybe she’s eating. Maybe he fell asleep. What if facebook is lagging? What if they’re dead? All quite possible. After a few hours though, (most of) these excuses are no longer convincing and I start to think maybe I said something wrong. Maybe I’m too weird.

That is an unhealthy way to think and it makes me doubt myself, but it really begs the question: how weird is too weird? For me, the boundary between being weird and ‘too weird’ or ‘weird’ in a derogatory sense lies in whether or not the person is considerate of others. Too weird is being blatantly and unapologetically offensive, seemingly having no morals or a very limited emotional capacity, not being respectful of personal space and privacy or being completely ignorant of social cues. Otherwise, I can probably put up with you. Ha Ha.

Most of the ‘criteria’ involve people, and in saying that, I am suggesting that on the spectrum of weirdness, one end tapers off to include those with autism or those who have certain personality disorders, which probably wouldn’t be as problematic if society did not exist. ‘Too weird’ carries negative associations and implies abnormality. Yes, it may seem unfair to judge those who naturally behave the way they do, but the whole field of abnormal psychology operates atop of the idea that mental illnesses are real. Some people argue that people are just different and pathologizing these differences just shows an intolerance in society. But on the other hand, social interactions are a part of the human experience- identities are dependent, in part, on the presence of people. Having difficulties in this area may inhibit an appreciation for genuine relationships, of which are one of the greatest joys in life.

It’s a tricky subject.

Anyway, the way to think when people don’t reply should be:
I don’t mind. We’re just not the same kind of weird.

Sorry, but I’m going to keep impersonating people, slipping into different accents and personality types (sassy black woman) at any given moment for fun, using only Emoji’s in a conversation, saying incongruent and maybe even inappropriate things in the wrong setting, walking around in my pajamas all day, hating tomatoes and the list goes on…

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One thought on “Sorry, you crossed the line

  1. I wonder what are your thoughts on this topic now that you’ve gone to university (if I got it right)? Is it still an issue for you at all?
    For me, this double task of allowing myself to be my own weird self in conversation with new people, on the one hand, and of accepting ungrudgingly when others seem not to be on my exact frequency of weirdness, on the other hand, is still hard. But it’s gotten easier with the years. I dare to be weird more. If people cannot appreciate that, at least by retaliating with their own kind of weirdness and letting me react to that, then that’s their loss. I think. Probably.

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