Chewing pens and tissue issues

From the title, you’d expect this post to be quite random. It is. #sorrynotsorry
Cause what’s exciting about predictability?
And quite frankly, being called quirky is one of my favourite things (I will love you forever) although it puzzles me as to why it’s such a feminine word. My life’s mission is to find the male equivalent.

Anyway, staring into someone’s eyes as they are talking can be very intimidating. But I fake it until I make it. This works for so many other endeavours – if you want to seem confident, sit straighter, stand taller and don’t hang your head. The body goes first and the mentality follows. Embodied cognition y’all! Just like how the very act of smiling has the ability to change your mood and make you feel happier.

Speaking of smiling, I cannot smile for long on stage or whenever I am in front of an audience. It’s the self consciousness that makes me forget how to be normal. I become hyperaware of my behaviour,¬†isolating parts of myself in an unnatural way because I see myself in my minds eye. After a while, my cheek muscles fail me and I stop smiling and apparently end up looking like I’m about to cry when in fact, I’m just letting my cheeks rest. To counter this and the strangeness of relaxing my face, I always bite the inside of my lip. It’s a nervous habit, like biting pen tops… It just happens and I suspect that it’s a comfort thing as well. Oral fixation y’all! Hopefully I won’t get ink poisoning from my affairs with multiple pens.

Oh look I found evidence. Omg.


Also, I’ve recently begun to think about tissue paper (I’m quite proud of the rhyme in the title of this post). I don’t know why it concerns me now but are tissues packaged in tightly compressed air-sealed plastic bags when sold? How are they disinfected or sterilized before being used in the bathroom…? We wipe dirt and other nastiness with what we consider to be clean. But I doubt anything is really clean, what with the creepy crawlies, microscopic bugs and dust in the air. The body is a temple and the temple is a playground for tiny living creatures. Lovely.

So that’s my splurge for today.
P.S Just threw a few psych terms in there – shout out to my main man Freud. #lol #lad


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