I made a sweeping statement about people the other day that I’m ashamed of. I was trying to explain why I was intrigued by a particular someone, saying that I liked the way he thought. Saying that it was different from talking to vapid people who don’t seem to be able to talk about anything of substance, or anything that really matters. But I was wrong. Because firstly, who am I to define what substance is? To judge what it is that matters? Probably nobody is really that insipid or vacuous. Everybody has something worth thinking about, as even if I don’t agree, their opinions are still valid and their thoughts still valuable (if only just to themselves). Everybody has their own subjective experiences and each person is as real as I am, with dreams, worries, aspirations and anxieties of their own. All it takes is an open mind and a chance to get to know them; a chance to see them open up to you. To say that they’re dead boring or shallow to the core of their being without truly getting to know them is to close a door on somebody who may be in need of a friend.
“When did we see each other face-to-face? Not until you saw into my cracks and I saw into yours. Before that, we were just looking at ideas of each other, like looking at your window shade but never seeing inside. But once the vessel cracks, the light can get in. The light can get out.”
― John Green, Paper Towns
I guess the best thing is when you feel as though there is a connection, like the person you’re talking to is choosing to express themselves to you (in particular) and is able to bring forth what is on their hearts. That, although it is the first conversation you have had with him/her, the topic of conversation seems more personal. Like, he/she is letting you see into the cracks. The tricky part is knowing whether or not the connection goes both ways (like gurl, maybe he’s like that with everyone).
So, I’ve got to remember that everyone is more complex than I know and will ever know. Once I understand this, the more I can understand other people. It is in knowing that there is more to know that more can be known.