Writing a post at 2:10 am on a school night is not the wisest decision and drinking rich coffee three hours ago was also not the best choice.
Here I am typing steadily as the aircon breathes, the fan slowly waves, and the clock ticks incessantly.
Today, for the first time in my life, I went busking on the streets (illegal in Hong Kong. We have a bad ass over hurrr). Not many shoppers and late night passersby heard me and I am extremely thankful for that, as my nerves caused me to lose some control over my voice. For some reason, my body was shaking. I was reacting physically to being in a performance-type situation, indicating how long it has been since I’ve sung in front of an audience alone. Being as critical as I am about my performances, the short, casual, and pretty much impromptu session helped me feel much less disappointed in myself. I loved the experience and have realized it’s always been on the bucketlist in my mind. Going to add and cross that one off!
I also spent the last few hours with her, watching her drink beer whilst I munched on a chocolate bar, curled up on a couch on the far side of the lounge. We confessed secrets and shared worries and doubts in our hearts. We talked about boys and God and faith and alcohol and sin and uncertainty. We talked about hope and motivation and planned for the future. The thing about meeting people in church is that it seems easier and more comfortable to share personal experiences without the fear of judgement. With essentially the same values and core principles in general, the support system feels genuine. I have not known her for that long but time itself is irrelevant; sometimes short-lived experiences leave lasting impressions. She’s leaving tomorrow and I’m going to miss her.
Sobe needs to sleep.